I want to visit London someday, maybe even study abroad there, but watching Paris Hilton’s British BFF makes me want to bust in both of my eardrums.

Now, I know, some of you may be wondering why I would even be watching that, but I have kinda cruddy basic cable/the channel was on when I turned on the TV/my name is Abby and I have a bad-reality-tv-show addiction/Paris Hilton’s baby voice is scarily fascinating to listen to especially when coming out of her giraffey body.

A small snippet of this show would go a little like this. Mind you, I’m not basing this off of British stereotypes, this is really what they sound like.

Bleach-blonde guy that wears a pink headband: If I knock the piss out of her, she tells me to sod off but if you beat the piss out of her she’s jabberin’ about how I’m a cranky ole hag!

“Umm…what?”

Exactly.

Who wouldn’t want to be best friends with her:

Umm…what?